Sing it, Olivia!

So...

Recently, I realized I'm getting older! I mean, I never really thought of my (undisclosed) age as old or anything, especially when I saw other women of my age being fit and hip (to some extent). But lately, I've realized that I'm invisibile. I'm serious! In bars, restaurants, shops, and most of all, the gym. And see, that's what this is really all about. Over this summer--actually, for the past 6 months or so, I've watched all of my friends gradually gain weight. Now, Jasmin is pregnant, so she's got an excuse, but the rest of us--really! We're growing our own personally food/beer babies, and it's gross.

At first, I actually thought I was immune. I was going to Kung Fu and seriously kicking ass. I wasn't really gaining weight. But, turns out, I was (read did). And now--I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Down right fat, I tell you--but that's me, I've got body image issues (Thanks, Calista!). But really--the heaviest ever. But--the difference is, I joined the gym. And I actually go. And I work out. A lot. For, like, hours. And, it's working--I've lost 5 pounds (yay!) and I feel better about myself, which is good, blah blah blah, but the thing is--I'm completely invisible. No, it's true. I fit right up there with all the old Asian ladies that are there (except that they're Asian). I mean, in the yoga class, I'm the old, middle-aged, fat lady who can't do the poses, and has to modify them, BECAUSE SHE'S OLD! (but see, I know the truth--the real reason I can't do the poses is because my lower back is so messed up--which actually could be because I'm old, I guess). Sigh.

But then there's the back issue (trust me, this all ties together). So, I go to the physical therapist, and she gives me all these exercises, and I do them, and actually, they are working--there is less pain. I've actually slept past 4 am twice now! Yay! I mean, it's a drag when your back hurts so bad that it actually freakin' wakes you up in the morning--wait, is 4 am the morning or is it still the night? Anyway, that's improving. But, while I was there, I got my bloodwork done, because back in January, there was a slight concern about my cholesteral level (have I mentioned that my top three favorite foods are BACON, CHEESE and BACON, EGG and CHEESE sandwhiches?). It was "moderately high" the last time.

Um, this time: high. Damn. And the scale isn't lying, either, and I realize that one: I'm overweight, and two: I've got high cholesteral. Crap. I'm a heart attack waiting to happen (see? get the ONJ reference?). To top it all off, the day my test results come back, the gym calls with a free fitness assessment. So, I'm not one to ignore the coincidence. I get it done, and yep--I'm in the "very poor" column for body fat, and the BMI, well, let's just say, it ain't good, either.

Oh boy. Well--the sweet young ex-marine fitness trainer says he can get me to a size six again. We'll see. And, I'm working on changing my eating habits. More yogurt and veggies and less, sob, bacon and cheese. Oh boy. I'm doing all the right things...I'm now one of those old farts that the cholestral advertisments are targeted to. blech.

Whatever. We're off to Goat Rocks for another camping excursion--me, my fat ass, the dogs and Mel. Should be fun. I'm eating bacon when I camp, damn it. I just am.

Oh, and incidentally--it's offically over a month since I quit smoking.