Today's hangover is brought to you by Melanie and Shelby.
Bettina. She's a beauty, too, enhanced by lack of sleep and smokey dive bars, she comes with the shakes and a sore, sore head. One of the best things about Bettina is that she has no respect for early mornings or work days.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Bettina.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
So wicked it deserves a name
I have decided to start naming my hangovers. Kind of like hurricanes. Alphabetically. This one, it's name is Aden.
Nobody should subject their bodies to what I did last night. It's just wrong.
Today, I pay.
Aden.
Nobody should subject their bodies to what I did last night. It's just wrong.
Today, I pay.
Aden.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
The Chump and the Troll
Have you ever gone over and over something that sucked in your past? You know, kind of obsessed over it, a little. Lost sleep, and maybe a little weight?
A few years ago, there was this guy...and...he dumped me. I was shattered. I 1) had never been dumped, and 2) could not understand his reason ("I love you, but I don't see us together in 50 years." --Whatever that means.
Well...the other day, I'm out to dinner, and in walks this chump with his new girl. Except that--oh my god!--she's a troll! Really! Fat and frumpy and has the down-turny mouth and everything! AND--they were not a happy couple. I mean, you know how when you see couples, you can just tell if they're having fun? I don't think these two even looked at each other! There was no smiling, no touching, no laughing, no fun. It was...well...I felt downright uncomfortable for them. Ha! The chump and the troll! I feel just a little bad about enjoying this so much...but, I mean, I'm pretty cool...I rock, even, and...well...you know...you could've been with me! Chump. HahahahaHAhahah! Chump and troll.
A few years ago, there was this guy...and...he dumped me. I was shattered. I 1) had never been dumped, and 2) could not understand his reason ("I love you, but I don't see us together in 50 years." --Whatever that means.
Well...the other day, I'm out to dinner, and in walks this chump with his new girl. Except that--oh my god!--she's a troll! Really! Fat and frumpy and has the down-turny mouth and everything! AND--they were not a happy couple. I mean, you know how when you see couples, you can just tell if they're having fun? I don't think these two even looked at each other! There was no smiling, no touching, no laughing, no fun. It was...well...I felt downright uncomfortable for them. Ha! The chump and the troll! I feel just a little bad about enjoying this so much...but, I mean, I'm pretty cool...I rock, even, and...well...you know...you could've been with me! Chump. HahahahaHAhahah! Chump and troll.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
so not fair!!!
Seriously, if YOU are sick, then it isn't fair if your dog gets sick, too. There is just not enough energy to deal with a sick dog when you can't even get out of bed! COME ON, dog! Get better!
Humorosity from last week:
1) fart spray. Oh yeah, I work in a middle school
2) the THONG PANTY LINER that was slapped on one girl's hoodie by her friend. She walked down the hall with it. Seriously. And she thought it was funny! (it was not used...) That's not funny! Funny is...um...well, I don't know, but that isn't it! I'd say that thong panty liners are kind of funny, but they aren't really...they're just wrong.
3) my 6th period singing to me...to the Fergalicious song..."Ain't no other teacher put it down like me."
Humorosity from last week:
1) fart spray. Oh yeah, I work in a middle school
2) the THONG PANTY LINER that was slapped on one girl's hoodie by her friend. She walked down the hall with it. Seriously. And she thought it was funny! (it was not used...) That's not funny! Funny is...um...well, I don't know, but that isn't it! I'd say that thong panty liners are kind of funny, but they aren't really...they're just wrong.
3) my 6th period singing to me...to the Fergalicious song..."Ain't no other teacher put it down like me."
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