The Chump and the Troll

Have you ever gone over and over something that sucked in your past? You know, kind of obsessed over it, a little. Lost sleep, and maybe a little weight?



A few years ago, there was this guy...and...he dumped me. I was shattered. I 1) had never been dumped, and 2) could not understand his reason ("I love you, but I don't see us together in 50 years." --Whatever that means.



Well...the other day, I'm out to dinner, and in walks this chump with his new girl. Except that--oh my god!--she's a troll! Really! Fat and frumpy and has the down-turny mouth and everything! AND--they were not a happy couple. I mean, you know how when you see couples, you can just tell if they're having fun? I don't think these two even looked at each other! There was no smiling, no touching, no laughing, no fun. It was...well...I felt downright uncomfortable for them. Ha! The chump and the troll! I feel just a little bad about enjoying this so much...but, I mean, I'm pretty cool...I rock, even, and...well...you know...you could've been with me! Chump. HahahahaHAhahah! Chump and troll.