Saturday, April 22, 2006

What are they thinking?

Oh, and another thing--so, the other day, I meet some friends at Amnesia (what? where? I don't think I've ever been there...) and somebody at the table said he threw up after watching Hostel. The next day, a student came up to me and told me he watched it. He's 14. That's sick. I mean, this is a movie, that, from what I can understand, is violently disgusting. The people I've spoken to about it say that most people in the theater left, and yet, some parent lets their child watch it? I mean, I don't have kids, and I know I shouldn't judge--but that seems pretty dumb...
So, this whole house thing is so stressful. I'm lucky I live with a great friend who is clean and respectful and who really likes to live in a neat house. I, however, am so flipping exhausted all the time. I'm sick of work--both jobs--and I can't wait for summer. I only have 8 more weeks of school, and I seriously can't wait for this batch of kids to leave--I mean, this is only my fifth year teaching, but if I had another year like this next year, I'd be done done done.

It's not like I don't freak out EVERY year, and decide I'm done and be on the lookout for new jobs (this year it was trying to get something with I Have a Dream, which is amazing, and I've done that before, and I'd do it again, but...) but this year has been so tough. All the teachers that had these kids in the previous years have said the same (well, all that I've talked to, at least) but it doesn't make me feel like any less of a failure, but whatever, it doesn't make the next 8 weeks any shorter or longer. The bottom line: I've got 8 more weeks with these kids, and I seriously can't wait for that day--the last day--to come. It's a little weird, because every other year, I've always started getting a little nostalgic right about now. This year, I'm crying on the way home every day. (I feel bad for Hillary, who I carpool with--but it's not like she hasn't had her tears...).

Eventually, I'll load the pics from our Easter party. And the pics from the past couple of weeks, where we've painted and moved in and done a bunch of work. I DO like the house, it's just stressful and I'm completely freaked aobut money. Whatever. It WILL all work.

Things I'm stressed out about/crying about on the way home from work:
1. This whole PBS thing--I'm stressed out that I've got minutes and a calendar to send out on e-mail by like, tomorrow. It's a ton of work. This is what I was crying about. I'm totally committed to the program. I wish I could step down from the fascillitator thing and know it'd continue on--and it probably would, but I'm so invested--and I'm not usually a control freak, really I'm not--but the momentum is strong, and I think I do a good job (I hope so, at least). I mean, the whole team is up against a pretty resistant staff--and who could blame them, I mean, it's not like they know what we're doing or anything--some staff meetings would help, I'm thinking...

2. money. nuff said.

3. Daisy. Cute as she is, she's stressing me out--allergies, possibly sick, the whole look-I-know-how-to-get-in-the-trash thing, chewing, digging...ack

4. School--planning, grading, the usual. Man, I can't wait till this crap is over!